What can go wrong in relationships?

As part of the Primary School program we did an activity with Grade 4 students asking what could go wrong in a the following relationships: Friends, peers, teams, siblings, parent/child and student/teacher. Each group brainstormed on butchers paper and then moved around to the next topic noticing what was similar. 

Here is a list of what they said which I have sorted loosely into different categories, using their own words. Many of these are on lists that describe bullying. However, what is here is much more than that. Building good relationships is slightly different in these different contexts, but at the core is social and emotional intelligence.

What can go wrong between friends?

• Misunderstandings, They can doubt you,  your friend thinks you stole it when you didn’t
• Boring things
• Running away
• Saying mean things, when they swear at you, Laughing at them
• Fights, slapping your friends
• One person doesn’t like another, 
• Jealousy
• Your friend betraying you
• You can brag too much, you try to be better than your friends
• Cyberbullying

What can go wrong between peers?

• People can be very mean, you get called names, get teased (especially when go to a new school), people can say “you are not my friend”, Get copied
• Send a bad text message
• People can hit
• People can steal something – like a pencil
• Feeling left out - You could get sick and the other person get left out, People having the same things as each other and you don’t – and you feel left out, Moving away to sit with other people
• People talking about you
• Someone can bully someone, get bullied so much you have to leave schools, committing suicide from bullying

What can go wrong with Brothers and Sisters?

• Disagreements - Takes money, Computer time, Argues about video games
• Swear at each other
• Physical fights – biting, slapping, punching, pinching, hitting
• Running away
• Kill each other off in video games

What can go wrong between parents and their children?

• Not doing as you are told, Asking for something you aren’t allowed, Not cleaning up after self, Asking for stuff too many times so parent shouts, Not telling that you have broken something valuable, Spending too much money without asking
• Fighting: Talking back, Shouting at each other, Arguing, Fighting over food (chocolate, icecream, drinks, cake) and the telly, Slapping on the butt, Saying you’ll kill them
• Not being loving, Getting to anger over small things,  “Telling” not “explaining”
• Having another child

What can go wrong in teams?

• Being rude, Saying “you’re  a….”
• Not co-operating, not helping, being silly, arguing, nobody listens, everyone disagrees
• Not liking another, not talking to someone, ignoring them deliberately
• Being selfish
• Doing other things, People walk over to other teams

What can go wrong between teachers and students?

• Bad behaviour, Inappropriate language, Pulling faces, Rudeness, Bullying other people, Violence, Bringing bad things to school, Wearing inappropriate clothing, Looking up inappropriate things on the computer, Talking when supposed to be working, Not following instructions, Bad work, Tricking the teacher, Back chatting to the teacher, Kicking the teacher
• Teachers yelling at students, Teachers can get mad with the students and then then students could think that teachers don’t like them
• Wrong impression

What do you think is interesting or surprising in this list? What might be the implications when working with parents?