How to provoke deeper conversations about bullying?

The cartoon story video above looks through the perspective of a boy on the cusp of being a bully after one moment of violence. He is in danger of being labelled a Bully, ostracised and enculturated within unwanted patterns of behaviours. 

This story aims to provide the viewpoint that the Principal of the Primary School wants parents to consider - What would you want to happen if your child was the bully? 

It is partly inspired by a conversation I had with a Grade 5 boy some years ago who talked about having red evil eyes glare at him whenever he shut his eyes (after he attacked a group of boys who were calling his sister names), and partly by a video I saw of a boy who talked about his transformation from a Bully to a normal person again.  He explained how his heart had been numb - he couldn't feel. He felt friendless and alone. He was turned around by being included and making friends.  

I sent different versions of the little video out to my networks over the weekend and got very useful suggestions back. (These included trauma and abuse counsellors, youth worker, victim of domestic violence, educators, lawyer, parent, teenagers.) 

It is interesting how people who are in the professional space and know the different paradigms and approaches like having a range of scenarios. However, my single parent audience thought it had too many scenarios that were alike - did not understand the nuance.

The professionals were also very particular about the words that are being used. For example, a key aspect of restorative approaches is that it gives control back to the person who might be designated as "the bully" - addressing a key reason of why they are doing it in the first place. So there is a difference between saying - "Billy, I know you are hurting, so is Joel. You need to make it right." and "Billy, it seems to me you are hurting. What do you feel you need to do to make things OK?"

There were a few women who had been victims of abusive partners and felt they had fallen into the trap of thinking they could help their partner - so stayed far longer than they should. So they were concerned about the fairy tale notion of the beautiful princess turning the beast into a prince. For kids being trained by family relationships during their formative years into the abusive partner role, what could a school community do to help break these cycles?

My teenage audience were very engaged, and said it made them think about the story behind why people might do things and to think again before labelling people too quickly. 

What was interesting is how many conversations have been generated by it. 

The process has reminded me (Tips for students creating videos):

• How important it is to get continuous feedback from a variety of professional and interested voices - Is the info right? What does it provoke in audience? 
• It is only when you start doing it, that all the nuances start to show themselves - lifting to higher understanding. 
• The process is going to take several iterations. 
• Keep the format/style simple so the message is clear. 
• Don't give one answer - scenarios help people to open to other possibilities